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  • Writer's pictureJulie Nicole

Don't Listen to That Voice in Your Head

Don't listen to that voice in your head. No, I'm not talking about that little voice that warns you of unknown danger, or that quiet voice that tells you not to give up. I'm talking about that other know the one I'm talking about.

I'll never forget the time I was in my class that I teach at a men's prison when one of the guys said he needed to leave class to take his psych meds. I asked why he was on psych meds and he said, "Because I hear voices in my head."

I said, "Well, I hear voices too. I just don't listen to all of them. You don't need medicine for that. You need to just start listening to the right ones."

I suppose he thought I would think he was crazy, but I didn't. It wasn't the first time someone told me that they had to take meds to control behavior or thoughts. I had another guy in my class tell me, "I have to leave to take my medicine or I'll get violent."

I looked at him, "You don't need medicine to not get violent. You choose to get violent. It isn't the medicine stopping you. It's your thoughts and your choices." I then asked him, "Were you ever molested as a child?"

He sat there stunned. "How did you know that? Are you psychic or something?"

"No, I just had a feeling," I said. "That's why you get violent, because you were violated as a child and you weren't big enough to defend yourself. Now that you are older and stronger, any time someone does something to you that triggers that little, defenseless boy in you, it causes you to lash out in violence in a way you wished you could have done to your perpetrator. You don't need medicine for that. You need healing of your soul."

He sat quietly pondering.

Amazing how we want to medicate everything today. If someone's angry - medicate them. If someone's depressed - medicate them. If someone can't focus - medicate them. Did it ever occur to some of these psychiatrists and doctors that maybe people have a reason to be angry, or sad, or depressed? Medication doesn't solve the underlying problem.

We are human beings, not robots. We have feelings for a reason. It's our gauge to let us know something inside of us isn't right. It's like a thermostat in your home. If you walked inside your house and it was freezing in there because someone turned the thermostat down to 40 degrees, you wouldn't say the thermostat is broken. It's merely reading the temperature.

Our emotions are the same thing. A child who gets molested most likely will become either angry, depressed or sad, and if they never receive any type of counseling or get any type of inner healing, it's like a thermostat inside their body that is turned down way too low or turned up way too high.

People are dealing with some real stuff. Having a child die from an overdose will cause you to be sad. If your spouse cheated on you, you're going to be angry. If you lost your job and can't find employment it can be depressing. It doesn't mean these emotions need to be blocked with medication. It means that these people need to be helped through these valleys of life and given a proper place to grieve and process their emotions.

However, with all of that being said, these emotions, if not channeled properly can create toxic thoughts in our head that seriously hinder our progress and even destroy our lives. So, while emotions can be great at indicating to us something is wrong, they also shouldn't be allowed to take us hostage.

For instance, another gentleman that I know from teaching my class in prison has a lot of anger issues and contempt towards women. He has since gotten out of prison and I had been reading his Facebook posts that were full of toxic and hateful words towards women and others and gave him a call one day because I knew this wasn't the real him.

He had always treated me respectfully, even referring to me as Miss Busby, and I didn't want to see him destroy his life with his words.

"Your words have power and right now your words are speaking death into other people's lives, and that then creates a magnet for evil and negativity to be pulled towards you," I said. "That's not who you really are. The things that happened to you in your childhood have affected you (I knew he had some traumatic things happen as a child and even as an adult.) and you need to forgive those who hurt you so you're not a hostage to hate."

A few weeks later after his cousin told him the same thing he put a post on Facebook.

"I've been trippin on here starting s**t with everybody and basically looking for a reason to hurt someone. I didn't realize I was doing please accept my apologies....I went through an extremely traumatic experience and I am responding in a destructive way because I don't have the tools to help myself...."

Hurt people hurt people is true. The pain and trauma we go through in life may be the root of our hurt, anger or sadness, but then if we don't get the help we need our thoughts will continue to recycle the events that hurt us, and then it weaves a web of bitterness, offense, and if left unchecked, hatred inside of us that eventually spews out on everyone around us.

The best thing to do when someone hurts you or offends you is to immediately forgive them. I realize some more serious matters may take longer, possibly even years to work through and to be able to consider forgiving, but it's necessary if you don't want to become a hostage to your pain.

There are so many people walking around today that were hurt in their childhood and they have lived years trapped behind barbed wires of negative thinking. Every time they try to get in a relationship or trust someone, that little voice says, "Remember what happened to us last time we trusted. They hurt us. Guard your heart. Push them away before they hurt you."

And so they go through one broken relationship after another rejecting people before anyone can have a chance to reject them first, unintentionally sabotaging every relationship they are in. They are hostage to their pain.

We do this in other ways too. If you have gone through a prolonged season of disappointments, rejection or closed doors your thoughts can begin to sabotage future opportunities by assuming your future will look like your past.

That's why self talk is so important. The good kind, not the bad kind. It may seem silly, but when sales people or motivational people tell you to look in the mirror each day and say positive proclamations such as, "People like me...I'm a money magnet....I have favor....Something good is going to happen today.....I can do anything I put my mind to...", they really do work.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

So, the next time those negative, doubtful, toxic thoughts begin to rear their ugly head tell them you will no longer be hostage to your pain, disappoinment, anger or offense. Let that stuff go and replace it with something good, lovely, pure and positive.

It's time to get free.

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